I didnt post last week, i was busy moving house. i was living in central Wellington city, the capital city of New Zealand. I have moved one hour north to the Kapiti Coast. I live right by the beach now
It is incredible how much environmental factors influence behaviour and thoughts. I remember when I got married up here, in February 2009 and we stayed at the beach for a week after, I thought to myself that if I lived up here I could be free, peaceful and rid of this disorder. I felt like I was recovered for that week I stayed up here, before going back home to the chaos. Now I live up here and am breathing the sea air and feeling the open space around me. I don't feel trapped and I don't feel like my past is around every corner waiting for me. Obviously moving here didn't magically cure my ED - that is a work in progress, but I do feel the freedom I was longing for all this time.
A few of the reasons I love being here
- the trees out the front are perfect for hanging chimes and sun catchers in
- at night time, when it is a really windy night, I can't always tell if it is the wind or the roaring ocean i can hear
- there are no high-rises here, the sky is so huge I can see blazing sunsets followed by starry nights and giant rising moons
- my view is of Kapiti island and when I see the sky changing colour I can walk down my street to the beach to catch it
- I can walk to therapy without it being considered excessive
- I have a room just for my fairies!
- there are parks with Pukekos all around me
- the soil is sandy and the grass is springy
- people have Norfolk pine trees on their properties and at Christmas time the streets are red with Pohutuhawa trees
- I have a back yard and a front yard with a big wide deck which is always warm and I can't wait to sunbathe on
- there are high fences that make me feel safe
- I can lay down and feel relaxed and peaceful and calm
- Kapiti island is always changing
- some of my oldest friends live around the corner, and I now live right between my two closest friends. So much closer to my sis.
- Stellar has carpet to roll about on and cupboards to hide in
- I can set up and leave out my sewing machine and learn to sew. I can paint and I have a workshop to smash things and make mosaic madness
- there is so much here to explore. I lived in wellington for 25 years, it is time for somewhere new and a quieter more peaceful life
I have loved the ocean and the beach for so long now. I love how huge and vast the ocean is. It puts life into perspective. It puts my problems and my worries and my anxiety into perspective. It is so calming and so ominous and ever changing. It humbles me and inspires me. This is my safe place, my peaceful place, my happy place.
Where is your happy place? Where do you feel safe or peaceful or loved?
xoxo Serra & Stellar