Recent events have prompted me to bring back something a few people have heard me bring up before... that voice.
Now I will rehash about "that voice" but I'm also going to be adding to it. Feel free to skip down if you are one of those few people that have heard me discuss this before.
"you've already had one drink. What's one more?"
"You've already purged once today. What's once more? You can try again tomorrow to not do it"
"You're not any good at it, so why continue trying?"
"You've already started binging... you can get back on track tomorrow... or next week."
"You took laxatives today. Might as well take more since you've already killed your record."
"You've already started cutting... continuing will help dull the pain"
We've all had these thoughts Maybe not these exact messages, as I just jotted down random ones and ideas for ones... but the general idea of them yes. They're all that voice.
I can tell you something about that voice. It's the voice that will kill if you let it. It may kill you physically or emotionally... or even that dream and spirit inside of you. But if you let it, make no mistake it will kill.
That voice admits defeat. Says that the morning's actions have to be allowed to drip into the afternoon and night's... possibly the weekend's... possibly the week's. You already messed up right? It doesn't matter... right?
Don't believe that voice. It's never too early to turn it around, but it can be too late (worst case scenario) or at least harder...
Know the voice and recognize it for what it is.
That voice also takes another form. It's the voice that tells others how much they are worth. How they can do it. How beautiful they are. How they are worth more than a number on a scale... or a life without an eating disorder...a life of happiness.... However, without skipping a beat this same voice tells you that you're not worth it. That all these things you're touting to other people don't apply to you.
This is another way that voice will kill you.
It needs to be silenced... I once posted about The Mother Inside (which is actually one of my favorite contributions... so go check it out) and I think to combat that voice you have to nourish that mother inside of you.
It's there inside and is the antidote that can silence the things that tell you that you're not worthy. YOU are worthy. YOU are worth the world.
and I am too.
I am trying to truly remind myself of this. That when I say we are all worthy of happiness, love, and compassion -- that those things deserve to be extended to myself as well --- especially by myself.
It's a hard lesson, especially since I'm finally discussing unspeakable things on Thursdays... but I'm trying. Please try with me?
As the title implies, there's going to be a giveaway --- Recovering Inspirings' first one... so I don't know how many replies this will get - as long as it gets one I'm happy.
Next Saturday is an anniversary of mine... an unpleasant anniversary of an event I have never truly discussed in considerable detail (ie: don't expect me to post about it on here anytime in the foreseeable future unless it's a vague reference) -- though I am considering doing just that this Thursday during my weekly Laura as I think it would be a gift to myself to do that, just not sure yet -- but to make that day less about hurt and pain I want to give something to someone...
I actually have one of these in print form (rather than locket form) in my bedroom --- The locket reminds me of healing and surrounding yourself with love -- creating a love for yourself if necessary... making yourself whole again - it is magnetic and the set comes with three fronts that are interchangeable.
This is open to anyone as the shipping outside the United States is not very much more than within the United States -- I'll buy it and pay to ship it directly to you (from the seller)
What do you have to do??
Comment on this entry with one of two things:
WHY you? Why are YOU worth recovery? Don't tell me you're not worth saving... everyone is.--- if you do not have an eating disorder you can instead answer why you are worth love and compassion
Which entry (it does not have to be one of mine) has helped you --- what would you like to see us talk about?
I'll use a random number generator to pick a winner --- you may enter up to three times -- one entry for each different question (must be in separate comments) and one entry for every link to this post (via twitter, Facebook, your own blog, etc --- if using twitter mention @recoverinspire so we can readily find it) - must make a comment here with a link to your linking (awkward phrasing, eh?) or twitter name - up to a maximum of THREE entries.
oh and if you would rather a different prize (as some might not fancy that locket set quite as much as I do) and live in the United States -- I'd be happy to substitute for - this Healthy Shirt where $5 of each sale goes towards eating disorder awareness
The contest will end at 12 noon CST on Friday the 29th - winner will be announced in NEXT Saturday's post and if it's you then email me so I can buy it and have it sent to you =)
oh and as a sidenote to any male out there reading this... please, please, please never catcall a female. please.