Tuesday, February 14, 2012

When The Fog Clears...

And You Finally See The Madness….

As I’m getting further and further into my recovery, I’m really starting to see the madness that is my eating disorder.

For many years I truly believed it was I who was mad. I couldn’t understand why I did the things I did, 

why I felt so desperate at times.

But then I also didn’t see the utter control my eating disorder had over me. Over my mind and my actions.

I would just accept it was normal for me; that that was how my life was and always would be.

Thank goodness I was so wrong!

You see as I’m getting stronger and my vision is getting clearer, I can finally see and hear the madness without acting out the behaviours.

And although it’s scary to watch, 
it’s wonderful to no longer play such a big part in it.

I say that because yes, I do still struggle; I have my ups and downs. If I didn’t I would be fully recovered.

But although not yet there, this is my journey and that is my destination.

So I guess I just wanted to say to those of you in the early stages of recovery;

Don’t give up!

You are not mad; you have an eating disorder.

And although it may seem that things will never become clear, 
they will.

And to those of you already fully recovered;

I’ll see you soon J

And on this day; Valentines Day-

Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you love you <3

With Extra Love, Smiles & Support,

Hanna xx


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