Changes

Hello again! Ashley here. I'm going to do an update for now, as the class I started on Tuesday left me much busier than I thought I would be--yay for reading psychology journal articles! But seriously ;)

I've been gone for the last 2 months or so, and Kat very kindly took over my Thursday post for me. I've appreciated it so much, and I've appreciated that she's left my day for me to regain with my return. Wow--the blog almost has 100 posts, and 37? or so followers! How it has grown...

So.

Over the last few months, I've traveled to New York, Indiana, Michigan, Missouri (!), California, and next week I will be leaving for Arizona.

I was in a break up of a 2.5 yr relationship, made some messes, did something with someone I barely knew, dated someone else, had a crush on even someone else, only to find out that the only things I really wanted were within the person I had left . Fortunately, I've had (and am having) a second chance at that relationship with him, but that's not to say it will fix itself. Effort is being put in on both sides to see if we can create something much better and bolder; we'll see how it turns out in the end.

I was in a frightening car wreck in which my left (driver) window was blown out across the front of the car; I was rammed into by a truck who hit me when I was making a legal and otherwise safe left turn (hit me from behind/side). Afterwards, I had to come to terms with having had accepted my own death for those few moments in which my car went flying.

And I had some other personal events that occured but involved friends (both involving me and their own issues) that are rather of a private nature.

In these last few months, life has done everything to say, you can run, you can hide, you can stay inside, but you have to face me. I've been trying, really.

In lieu of being perfect, I received my first B in college. I took pride in that I was able to accept it for what it was--a result of the extreme circumstances I went through over this semester, and by no means any assault on my intelligence.

And you know what? I have felt stressed, scared, anxious, frightened, livid, bottomless, shallow, eager, joyful, tentative, nervous, elated, tired, angry, flustered, ignored, alone, closeness, honored, dishonored--and so much more.

What an eventful year so far. And all because I took the initiative to do things I want to do, talk to people whom I find interesting, and to feel the feelings that have been waiting to be felt all along.

And wouldn't you think it was funny--it was a book that started this all. But that's a story for another time.

Take care, all--and I'll see ya round once I'm in Arizona.

Ashley