The Home

There's a man down the street that lives in this old Victorian, covered in vines, and reminding me of Madeline. The turret has a window, but a long time ago the glass pane broke. The man never repaired it, leaving it susceptible to the world outside. Every time it rains the water gets in. Without the glass it lacks the ability to experience and feel the outside without becoming hurt and damaged. As time goes on and more rain comes and goes the water continues to come in. Each drop collecting on the wooden floorboards, forming mold, forming mildew, eating away at that house.

What was once glorious is now falling apart. The porch has seen better days. The man doesn't weed nor does he mow his grass. Times got really tough for the man and he was having problems dealing with it all... all this emotional turmoil building up. A metaphor between him and his home starting to develop. One day a man knocked on his door, offering to help him out in exchange for housing, the old man terrified of asking friends or family for help or assistance, agreed.

At first the guy helped mow the grass and pull weeds... but he got obsessive about it and wound up ruining the yard. The damage didn't end there though. The guy that moved in became so involved and obsessed in the yard that he neglected to take care of or fix the inside of the home - the mildew and mold from the window continued to get worse. That window pane never got replaced. The man did the logical thing and tried to kick the not-so-handyman out. The handyman came back a couple of times, saying he'd changed... that he really could help... the home's owner at this point decided to get help from others to turn his home around - to help with his other problems. The handyman still continued to call, promising his ways of fixing things were the best, but eventually the handyman's pleas fell on deaf ears. That home owner was free to live his own life in his home seeking assistance from others when things became unmanageable for him.

 (both photos were taken by me on a jaunt through my neighborhood)

The man that moved in to help is like an eating disorder and the home is like each of our bodies. Homes house important things like our heart and our mind. Yet, sometimes, we get caught up and do not take proper care. We fail to realize that the body that might cause us grief or be what we perceive to be the reason for self-loathing also does many other things, regardless of its size or its shape - it allows us to hold others, to be held (if it were not there, there would be nothing to hold), it allows us to smell bon fires in the fall, to hear the crackling of the leaves under your feet which allow you to walk, it allows us to show love to significant others in a variety of ways, it allows us live.

You should embrace self love and love the one you're with - yourself.

 "When you ignore your belly, you become homeless. You spend your life trying to erase 
your own existence."  Geneen Roth

(to find out more about the self-love movement visit Voice in Recovery!)  

oh and I still haven't heard from HollyT -- email me if you're reading this!