hey everyone, its friday again! thank goodness!
i was reading back through a forum i post on and found a couple of things i wrote or posted over a year ago... back when i was learning to like myself again. i thought i would share these with you. the first is something i wrote about positive vs negative self talk, and the second piece i did not write but when my therapist shared it with me i almost cried.
something i am guilty of and i know many others are too is the negative self talk. the beating ourselves up. the i hate this and that, im a bitch, you know, all the nasty stuff. add the expletives in to suit
but its really not helpful, and like everything practise makes perfect, so the more we do it, the more it reinforces the negative thoughts.
now i know that saying nice or positive things about ourselves often feels impossible and i think thats quite a common issue that goes along with eating disorders.
i said recently to one of my therapists that for me to say i like myself, i like my body, i am a nice person feels so absurd and uncomfortable. it feels like a completely terrible and stupid and unforgivable thing to say that goes against everything i stand for
but we have to start somewhere and keep practising even though it feels so silly. you dont have to actually believe what you are saying, as long as you keep saying it, and replace those negatives with something neutral at least, or even better something positive. i know i can feel impossible to say positive things, im still working on it and my homework from therapy was to start replacing the negatives with neutrals - i hate my body can become im learning to accept my body. i still cant say i love my body, but im trying to stop the negatives
positive self-talk will eventually become reinforced and hopefully become positive feelings...
please people dont tell yourselves you are a bitch or evil or ugly or a pig or deserving of bad things... even if you truly believe these bad things, even if they are at the core of how you feel and its what you sincerely believe about yourselves, remember its not helpful and you have to stop actually saying/writing these things and replace them with something less negative or better yet something neutral or even better yet something positive
practice makes perfect, and as completely insane as it feels, we have to practice positive self-talk in order to reinforce it
but its really not helpful, and like everything practise makes perfect, so the more we do it, the more it reinforces the negative thoughts.
now i know that saying nice or positive things about ourselves often feels impossible and i think thats quite a common issue that goes along with eating disorders.
i said recently to one of my therapists that for me to say i like myself, i like my body, i am a nice person feels so absurd and uncomfortable. it feels like a completely terrible and stupid and unforgivable thing to say that goes against everything i stand for
but we have to start somewhere and keep practising even though it feels so silly. you dont have to actually believe what you are saying, as long as you keep saying it, and replace those negatives with something neutral at least, or even better something positive. i know i can feel impossible to say positive things, im still working on it and my homework from therapy was to start replacing the negatives with neutrals - i hate my body can become im learning to accept my body. i still cant say i love my body, but im trying to stop the negatives
positive self-talk will eventually become reinforced and hopefully become positive feelings...
please people dont tell yourselves you are a bitch or evil or ugly or a pig or deserving of bad things... even if you truly believe these bad things, even if they are at the core of how you feel and its what you sincerely believe about yourselves, remember its not helpful and you have to stop actually saying/writing these things and replace them with something less negative or better yet something neutral or even better yet something positive
practice makes perfect, and as completely insane as it feels, we have to practice positive self-talk in order to reinforce it
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The $20 Bill (Story)
Source Unknown
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?”
Hands started going up.
He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you, but first, let me do this.”
He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.
He then asked, “Who still wants it?”
Still the hands were up in the air.
Well, he replied, “What if I do this?”
And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.
“Now, who still wants it?”
Still the hands went into the air.
“My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20,” he said.
“Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.”
“But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.”
“The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE. You are special - Don’t EVER forget it.”
_________________
xoxo serra
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