ten favorites of mine

 

(photo credit to lifeuncluttered.blogspot.com)

Somehow with the excitement of my Chicago adventure I forgot to get a Saturday guest blogger... whoops! But you know what, it's okay. Yes, I'm in a fabulous mood after my time off. I felt so connected in Chicago (especially during the most enjoyable run that I've had in ages), I sometimes forget just how disconnected you can become when you don't give yourself time for yourself - if anything the past three days cemented to me the importance of that. I feel rejuvenated and really good right now.

Anyways. For this Saturday I bring to you my top ten favorite blog posts, articles, etc from here and around the web (in no particular order!)

1) Where BMI Goes Wrong - Lessons from Cupid - Fascinating look at BMI from Drop it and Eat it

2) Appreciating Your Body  - from Actively Arielle

3) The Last to Go  - "Often these things hold on until the very end of a recovery, sometimes only arising to the surface of awareness when a trusted friend points them out or you experience an “aha!” moment." -- from Nourishing the Soul

4) I deserve better from myself - From our own Dani

5) Every Body Has a Story - my favorite personal post

6) Women Eating Cake site and the topic-related  Why You Should Really Eat Dessert from NTS

7) Full Recovery? -- I love the discussion that our own Serra stirred up (if you read this, also read the comments!)

8) Back to the Arms that Held Me - one of the most touching blog posts I've ever read from Charlotte over at the Great Fitness Experiment

9) When It's Time to Let Go of The Skinny Jeans  - "Yes, I have damage, flaws, and imperfections, but I am whole." from the site/blog "Back in Skinny Jeans"

10) A Self-Love Letter { Challenge } - Yes, this was for April, but I still think this was a fabulous challenge and still would urge people to try this one out -- thank you Kendra from Voice in Recovery for this! Truly!!

what sites, blogs, articles out there do you love?

A Challenge... of the "me first" variety

(photo credit to: amazon)

I think this week I learned a lesson on life that has been long in the making... a lesson that has left me solidified that time for myself (or myself in general) should be prioritized.

I have this perpetual fear of being viewed as lazy. So I try as hard as I can to be in constant motion. Literally from 7am (sometimes 8am) until about 1am - 2am I am doing something that is non-negotiable. I do try to squeeze an hour power nap in there, but most of my day is spent driving, at school, at work (on my feet), or doing work that resulted from one of the aforementioned things. I try to start my morning with a half hour walk, but lately that's not even been happening.

I should note that I am not doing it for financial reasons, it is purely out of this drive to be constantly going.  Bottom line? This is NOT healthy, especially since it means I work every day of the week.

I was planning on going into work earlier this week and telling them that I needed one day off each week, however, the same day I was set to do that, I spoke to my father on the 15 minute break we take during my Gender Across Culture class -- he told me that that's what it means to be an adult. Making sacrifices, sucking it up, and moving on. You're capable of doing it, so do it. I thought about it... and he was right that I am capable of doing it... I did it in high school (perhaps to a larger degree in fact), so I can do it now...

I didn't broach the topic at work.

But after I emailed my therapist to indefinitely cancel my appointments (I won't even have that nap-time option available to me come June 16th due to an additional three hours of class each day) it dawned on me that what my father told me could very well be wrong.

Being an adult does not mean making sacrifices and sucking it up, though it can involve those things... It does however mean taking care of yourself - be it by yourself or through knowing when to ask for help when you need it (and of course consequently asking for it). Just because you are capable of doing it, doesn't mean you should either. I was capable of doing a similar thing in high school, but should I have? Absolutely not. I wound up taking the living out of my life. That's not okay.

I'm not saying parents are wrong, I am however saying that parents, like anyone else, make mistakes. Like yourself,  they weren't given a manual of life. They don't know everything... they know what they think worked for them. There's the thing though. You are not your parent or guardian. You are, well, you're you.

Just as you are you. I am myself.. and I am my own expert. If my body is telling me something needs to give, I shouldn't allow my mind to be persuaded that I am wrong. That my body is wrong. My body knows what it needs and since it is my body and I am listening to it (truly listening to it) it can be ascertained that it is correct. And it is correct that I need a break... and no that does not mean I am lazy, it means I'm not a superhero.. that I am human. and that is okay.

As a challenge to myself, until I can straighten out this work situation,  I am going to try to incorporate "me" time into my weekly routine on the days I do have some spare time in the morning - those days where I don't have school in the morning, rather just work at night.

I am going to finally finish that green canopy I've been working on off and on. I'm going to take nice rambling walks. I'm going to relax and sit with myself.

I'm going to take a detour from my planned course and put myself first.


as a challenge to yourself, what can you do for yourself this week or each day? How can you make time for you?

(I credit the term "me first" to Kendra from Voice in Recovery)


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to continue my random self-discovery q/a :

A picture of my night:

 My Thursday night was spent at Anthropologie working. The above was our last window display -- it's a dress made of paper and dropcloth and of course thousands of clothespins that were individually placed/positioned on molded chicken wire -- the clothespin part has since migrated to the board you see behind the cash/wrap. They're in the process of taking the current one down (a wall made entirely of wine corks as part of the "Anthropologie Goes Green" theme), otherwise I would've put up a pic of that

The Home

There's a man down the street that lives in this old Victorian, covered in vines, and reminding me of Madeline. The turret has a window, but a long time ago the glass pane broke. The man never repaired it, leaving it susceptible to the world outside. Every time it rains the water gets in. Without the glass it lacks the ability to experience and feel the outside without becoming hurt and damaged. As time goes on and more rain comes and goes the water continues to come in. Each drop collecting on the wooden floorboards, forming mold, forming mildew, eating away at that house.

What was once glorious is now falling apart. The porch has seen better days. The man doesn't weed nor does he mow his grass. Times got really tough for the man and he was having problems dealing with it all... all this emotional turmoil building up. A metaphor between him and his home starting to develop. One day a man knocked on his door, offering to help him out in exchange for housing, the old man terrified of asking friends or family for help or assistance, agreed.

At first the guy helped mow the grass and pull weeds... but he got obsessive about it and wound up ruining the yard. The damage didn't end there though. The guy that moved in became so involved and obsessed in the yard that he neglected to take care of or fix the inside of the home - the mildew and mold from the window continued to get worse. That window pane never got replaced. The man did the logical thing and tried to kick the not-so-handyman out. The handyman came back a couple of times, saying he'd changed... that he really could help... the home's owner at this point decided to get help from others to turn his home around - to help with his other problems. The handyman still continued to call, promising his ways of fixing things were the best, but eventually the handyman's pleas fell on deaf ears. That home owner was free to live his own life in his home seeking assistance from others when things became unmanageable for him.

 (both photos were taken by me on a jaunt through my neighborhood)

The man that moved in to help is like an eating disorder and the home is like each of our bodies. Homes house important things like our heart and our mind. Yet, sometimes, we get caught up and do not take proper care. We fail to realize that the body that might cause us grief or be what we perceive to be the reason for self-loathing also does many other things, regardless of its size or its shape - it allows us to hold others, to be held (if it were not there, there would be nothing to hold), it allows us to smell bon fires in the fall, to hear the crackling of the leaves under your feet which allow you to walk, it allows us to show love to significant others in a variety of ways, it allows us live.

You should embrace self love and love the one you're with - yourself.

 "When you ignore your belly, you become homeless. You spend your life trying to erase 
your own existence."  Geneen Roth

(to find out more about the self-love movement visit Voice in Recovery!)  

oh and I still haven't heard from HollyT -- email me if you're reading this!

A Self-Love Letter

So today's post is going to be a little bit different, instead of a guest poster like Saturday usually is... I'm going to post, though I normally stick to Wednesdays..

Inspired by Voice in Recovery's April Self Love Letter Challenge --- April is the perfect month for me to be doing this so I hope you enjoy and feel inspired to join Kendra's strive to stop self-hate and write your own

Also, a little bit or housekeeping so to say, I mean to always say this, but I'm pretty much one for however many post... if you would like to guest post (or would be willing to) email us collectively at recoverinspire@gmail.com


------------------------ Back to the Scheduled Programming -------------------------


Dear Self,

So it's April. As anyone that knows you knows, you have a genuine disdain for this month and declare it to be not your month.

In April 2006, you experienced your first burial of a friend when a car accident took her life at the age of 16 -- a couple of weeks before her first prom. You saw her beautiful prom dress on display at the viewing and the urn that held the ashes since her car had burst into flames upon impact. You experienced insensitivity from unlikely places and felt horrible, because you - a month prior - had been in a near identical car accident, but had survived.

In April 2006, you also heard a phrase uttered about you from someone you loved and respected that has haunted you for years.

In April 2007, your belief in the goodness of people was tested when an event happened that sent pain searing through your body leaving you feeling too emotionally numb to cry out.

In April 2008, you wound up in the hospital when the pain of the memory of the past year became too much.

In April 2009, you encountered the joys of the justice system in the south and how sometimes what people - even those in law enforcement - perceive to be reality can, in their minds, become their reality. You watched a guilty man get away.

In April 2010,  you witnessed a bit of joy in the month --- your sister getting married to an unbelievably great guy.  It was this event that left you thinking that April could be different.


April can be different. Yes, horrible events can happen to you (and they will), but it's what you choose to do with them. Look at those events and look at where you are at present. You may say it took a lot of time to travel from point A to point B --- I know your skepticism well, but even look back at the past year.

You've decided an eating disorder was not a valuable thing to keep carrying with you. That it should not be what you take with you in the event of a fire, so to say. You've begun to realize that you are enough. That you are worthy. That when you say that everyone's beautiful and everyone's worthy of love that YOU should be included in that. You've moved cities, drastically changed jobs (from "Sir, SrA _____ reports as ordered" to "Don't get upset hon, it's the cut of the dress, not you. Let me go find another one in a similar style and I'll be right back"), started college (again... but this time doing something that interests you), and are doing well.

You let your apartment get a bit messy at times, but you should even be proud of yourself for that, for being able to allow yourself that breathing room.

You're stronger than you give yourself credit for and have a kinder heart than the "I'm an asshole" mantra you tell your therapist (only semi-jokingly) would imply that you do. Please stop doing that by the way.

You're starting to open up and be willing to let people in, heck you've even managed to keep a therapist for a year (bet you never thought you'd do that, did you!) - and have started to talk about things that are hard. that you said you could never discuss. Here's the thing though, you ARE discussing them. That says a lot about you.

This time last year you would exercise no matter how your body was feeling physically and no matter what it looked like outside -- your mindfulness and connection with your body is improving greatly. You know when enough is enough and you even allow yourself to walk... in public. Which you know what? is a normal thing to do. There's no shame in walking. Telling yourself otherwise is a silly thing to do. You're making good strides by realizing that.

In addition to all of these things you're starting up an organization that you truly care about, one that will hopefully give people a little bit more time to heal in treatment. As part of that, you organized, near single-handedly, an event while working and going to school full-time. An event that went over quite well. You're starting to persist in love. Which is a beautiful thing.

That list of April events earlier? Those say a lot about you too. No, the events themselves do not define you... but the fact that you're still here. That you're even stronger than you were when those things happened... that says a lot about you as a person. So let's take April back. Let's take this month, especially this month, and make it your month. Starting with this love letter. May it rain showers of self-love this April.