I just want to start by saying how pleased I am that the beautiful Jess has joined us here.
You truly are a little Star sweetie.
I’m proud of you and I believe in you.
Many will benefit from reading your posts!
So it’s been a few weeks since I last posted, my apologies!
One week I didn’t have Internet access but the other, I’ll be honest, my mind just wasn’t focused enough.
You see, I’ve been so focused on my recovery recently that at times it’s seems to have taken over my life, thoughts, feelings etc.
Don’t get me wrong, Recovery needs commitment and attention but it shouldn’t dominate your whole headspace.
It’s about finding a balance, as with all things in life.
With recovery comes freedom and that means opening yourself up to so much more of life.
But never ‘forget’ that it’s your number one priority.
Recovery = Life.
So, I’m back, I’m present, I’m grounded and I’m smiling J
There is so much I want to talk about and from past posts you’ll see that I can indeed ramble ;)
But I’m going to focus in on one for now;
You should know what I’m talking about. That horrible little niggling voice that chatters away to you from time to time.
For me, this voice is different to the dominating shout that used to be present but still just as persistent and tormenting at times.
The voice that tells you you’re ‘not good enough’ or that ‘you can’t recover’.
The snigger making you feel you should give up when you’ve had a bad day.
The Whispers that egg you on to restrict/binge/isolate ‘just this once’….
I’m sure you know these well.
But the difference of late that I’ve noticed is, my ability to hear all this negativity yet still keep going. To understand the lies I’m ‘being told’ and instead listen to the truth of those around me, and that in my heart.
I’m able to feel the fear pulsing through my veins yet find my inner strength and do what I know is right anyway.
Is it easy?
Do I manage it every time?
Not yet, in fact I ‘had a moment’ in-between writing this but I overcame it.
Yes it’s painful but it’s so, so worth it.
I guess what I’m trying to say is this;
I know that it does get quieter and easier in time, so long as you just keep going.
I've seen it and felt it in myself, and others.
Easy for me to say?
No, because I know and feel a lot of what you do now/have done/will do but that's why I can say it too.
So on days when you hear that pathetic little voice (because that’s what it is; Pathetic and small, you are so much wiser, your support huge) and start to doubt yourself;
For the times when that fear kicks in, find the strength within you and do the next right thing.
With Much love, Smiles and support,