As you read this, I am probably hiking or zip-lining through the Rocky Mountains. My boyfriend and I are heading to the popular tourist town of Banff, Alberta to do, well, touristy things.
This trip came about from a fairly significant realization on my behalf. I was bemoaning how tired I was, and how much I was working in late August, when I decided that not only did I NEED a break, but also that I DESERVED one. Basically, I finally decided to pay attention to what those around me have been saying for months. This became especially apparent last week, when I forgot that I had a day off and worked 8 hours.
And now here comes the scary word: I am actually proud of myself for being able to acknowledge not only my needs, but also that I deserve good things. This is a profound message to myself, as I spent years desperately trying to pretend/prove that I didn’t have needs, or that I wasn’t worthy of anything. So this is huge for me. But at the same time, very scary. I am travelling into emotional territory that I have avoided for years, and I predict that it will get a little messy. Here’s hoping I can have some fun and learn a few things along the way.
That seems to be how I do things, I have professionals, family and friends surrounding me telling me these things, yet I need to figure them out for myself. But that means you can, too.