“Acceptance allows change. The 'acceptance mode' includes everything, even my judgments. It allows me to be okay now, even before I reach my goals.”
“When you begin to accept yourself the way you are right now, you begin a new life with new possibilities that did not exist before because you were so caught up in the struggle against reality that that was all you could do.”
So if it doesn’t work, why do we keep doing it? Because we hope it will work. And if you don’t know any other way to change, what options do you have? We’ve been trained to believe that in order to change, we need to first feel bad about it. That if we’re accepting and loving of that particular quality, that we won’t do anything to change the situation, which is not true! You don’t have to be unhappy with yourself to know and actively change those things you’d like to change about yourself. Acceptance is actually the very first step in the process of change. For more about this, see “an interview about acceptance”
Think of acceptance of yourself like being okay with where you live now. You may want a bigger house one day. You may dream about that new home. But there ARE advantages to living in a smaller home if you only took the time to think about it. It is possible to be happy with the home you're in now, while still dreaming and working to make your new home a reality.
YOU ARE ALWAYS DOING YOUR BEST
How many times have we heard, “if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't have acted any differently, based on what I knew at the time”? Precisely. Based on what you knew at the time.
There are reasons for the things we do. Most people have not investigated what those reasons are, but that doesn't mean they're not there. If you were to trace your thoughts from behavior back to belief, you would see a logical progression of reasons for each step you take.
Think of a person like a huge mainframe. You see the nice software interface, but be assured that there are millions of calculations taking place behind that pretty window. They're not necessarily subconscious, you can see them just like you can see code. The only way I've discovered to get to that code, is to identify those underlying ideas and beliefs.