These are the exact words that I have been repeating to myself over and over each day, and these are the words that I not only live by but stand by right now.
When you’re recovering from an eating disorder, your whole focus can just be on that- you & your eating disorder. And of course it needs to be to an extent. But at times it can feel like a chore, that all the focus is on weight and food.
And here’s the thing- you need to be a healthy weight in order to remain safe, healthy & happy. And you need to eat food. And you need to consistently do this. As scary as that may be- Food=Life. And by denying ourselves food we are in essence denying ourselves life.
So in the moments when you feel tired and bored of recovery, think of life as it is right now and how it has been. Not much fun either is it?
And there really is so much more to life than your eating disorder. I’ve really experienced this this weekend just past. The weather has been beautiful and I’ve managed to get out and about to truly enjoy it. I spent some quality time with my mum and glimpsed what it would be like to experience this daily. And she had her daughter back, eating disordered free, even if it was just for a few hours. I want her to have that every single day.
Each time I felt a wave of panic or struggled over a meal, I simply looked at others eating theirs. Children enjoying ice creams. Grandmas eating their tuna sandwiches. Young Lads munching on cheesy chips. There was laughter, there was banter & there was pleasure. These people were just simply living their lives….
And it was beautiful to not only witness but to be a part of too.
When you are stuck in your eating disorder all of this can seem impossible. So far away and totally out of your reach. The little things in life so overwhelming. But it really isn’t… And it truly is the little things that count.
Next time you are out, whether this is walking in the park with your dogs or catching a bus to work, take a minute to look around you. Look at the world. Look at life. Isn’t it amazing?
Below is a song that came out a fair few years ago now but I think its fab. Listen to the words and take a little something from it too.
Stay Focused, live in the now and never forget; there is so much more to life than this!
With Much love and Support,
My beautiful Mum & I